This is a sub-page of Postal 2/Unused Voice Acting.
| Oh dear, I do believe I have the vapors. This page contains content that is not safe for work or other locations with the potential for personal embarrassment. Such as: Audio vulgarity. |
| To do: More where these came from. |
Scratch Track
Present in DudeDialog.uax is an audio file called dude_scratch_temp.wav. It appears to be one of the developers reading off various Postal Dude lines, presumably as a placeholder before Rick Hunter was brought in.
Idle Lines
The Dude was meant to comment around the town or attempt to annoy the player if player stayed passive for a period of time. These are all present in the scripts as lDude_RandomLevel
.
Sound
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Dialogue
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Hmm. Nothing a coat of paint and some antibiotics can't cure.
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Gyah, I feel like I'll get hepatitis if I touch anything in this fucking town.
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Geez, if the sheriff turns out to be Don Knotts I'm gonna kill everyone and then myself.
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Does my voice annoy you?
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Does my voice annoy you?
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No really, does the sound of my voice get on your nerves? It bugs me sometimes!
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Queues
Playing as a pacifist involves a lot of lengthy, deliberately agitating lines to buy things. These are all present in the scripts as lDude_LongLine
.
Sound
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Dialogue
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Notes
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Hmm, a long line. I suppose it was inevitable.
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Used in the Paradise Lost release trailer.
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Geez, looks like a goddamn town meeting.
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Hooo, that's gonna be quite a wait.
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Don't these people have jobs?
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Crap, looks like everyone in town had the same idea.
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Quest Dialogue
Miscellaneous
Sound
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Dialogue
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Notes
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What for? All the cars in this town seem to be props anyway.
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Present in the scripts as lDude_PayTraffic2 .
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Ahh. Now you can't say I never gave you anything for Father's Day.
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Not present in the scripts, but likely would've been used for the "Piss on Dad" task on Wednesday.
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These better be damn fine steaks for all that bullshit!
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Present in the scripts as lDude_FindSteaks .
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Hey, Ayatollah, how about some service over here?
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Alternate take of used line.
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Oh great, now my day is complete.
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Ditto; also present in the scripts as lDude_RobbersShowUp .
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The Apocalypse
Presumably, these lines were meant for the original version of the apocalypse (according to an unused map overlay), which would've had the Dude navigate a pre-determined path back to his trailer.
Sound
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Dialogue
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Man, this apocalypse is some heavy shit.
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Mm, lemme fix that.
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I better get my ass home before some psycho shoots it off.
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Hmm, this seems like a good route.
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Damn, looks like it's not gonna be so easy to get home this time.
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Shit, how far away do I live, anyway?
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Lucky Ganesh
Sound
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Dialogue
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Notes
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You just know there's gonna be some variety of pickled testicles in here somewhere.
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Present in the scripts as lDude_enterhabibstestes .
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I knew it!
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Present in the scripts as lDude_seeTestes .
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I knew it!
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Well I guess I don't have to pay now.
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Present in the scripts as lDude_KillHabib .
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Well I guess I don't have to pay now.
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Fee Of America
Sound
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Dialogue
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Notes
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Damn, who will cash my check now? Maybe I'll cash it myself in the vault.
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Present in the scripts as lDude_KillBankTeller .
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Damn, who will cash my check now? Maybe I'll go cash it myself in the vault.
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Grossman's Arcade
At some point in development there were plans for an errand where you deliver something to the arcade on Main Street, causing the police to surround it.
Sound
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Dialogue
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I better drop this off at the arcade before anything bad happens to it.
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The Library
Both of these are present in the scripts as lDude_DropOffBook
.
Sound
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Dialogue
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I was wondering where the dropbox is, probably way in the back.
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I was wondering where the dropbox is, probably way in the back.
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Stupid book, Gary Coleman's autobiography would've been more interesting.
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Gary Coleman
Sound
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Dialogue
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Notes
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I can relate, bro!
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Present in the scripts as lDude_GaryBullhorn .
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Oops, botched that one! I wonder how much his remains would go for on eBay...
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lDude_KillGary is in the scripts, but does not reference this line.
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Damage
Sound
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Dialogue
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Notes
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Ugh, I knew shouldn't've smoked that crap.
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Ah, that's gonna be sore tomorrow.
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Alternate take of used line.
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Oofh, my nads.
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Ditto.
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(grunts)
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Healing
Sound
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Dialogue
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Notes
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Ah, that's the stuff.
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Alternate take of used line.
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Taunts
Things the Dude was supposed to say after, well, going postal.
Miscellaneous
Sound
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Dialogue
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Notes
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Gimme some money!
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I'm so wrong.
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I'm so wrong.
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Go long!
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Present in the scripts as lDude_ThrowGrenade .
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Here, catch!
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Ditto.
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I'm sorry, I meant to do this.
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Commented out in the script with the line "This line needs to be when he just hurts someone, but we don't have enough of those, maybe?"
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I got your affirmative action!
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Present in the scripts as lDude_ShootMinorities .
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Sorry folks, the Bible backs me up on this one!
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Present in the scripts as lDude_ShootGays .
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Reused People
The Dude was meant to comment on the game's lack of variety of NPC models. These are all present in the scripts as lDude_ReusedPeople
.
Sound
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Dialogue
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Damn, do all these people look alike, or what?
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Definitely some inbreeding going on here.
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Holy shit! I'm not racist! These people really DO all look alike!
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Hey look! It's Uncle Dad!
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Grandfather of Jimmy Joe Billy Bob, cousin of Johnny Joe Billy Jimbo Bob!
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Would it be safe to say your family tree is a Mobius loop?
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Bums
Lines for when the Dude killed a bum. These are all present in the scripts as lDude_ShootBum
.
Sound
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Dialogue
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Here's some lead for YOU to recycle!
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Here's your tax relief!
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Elders
Lines for when the Dude killed the scrapped elderly people. These are all present in the scripts as lDude_ShootOlds
.
Sound
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Dialogue
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Hey, I know, you've fallen and you can't get up.
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Right about now I'll bet you feel pretty silly putting all that money into your IRA!
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Just call me Dr. Euthanasia.
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Ohhh, medicare ain't covering that!
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Getting Lost
A few lines the Dude would've said if he encountered a roadblock.
Sound
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Dialogue
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Damn I'm an idiot, maybe I should check the map.
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Shit, bet if I had looked at the map I'd known this was blocked.
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Last Words
Lines presumably for when the Dude commits suicide. One of these is a copy of the "I regret nothing" line, but named dude_alliwantedwas.wav. These are all present in the scripts as lLastWords
.
Sound
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Dialogue
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If there were stricter gun laws, this sort of thing wouldn't happen.
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Can't we all just get along?
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Jailbreaking
These lines were meant to play when the Dude escaped from jail. These are all referenced in the scripts as lDude_EscapeJail
.
Sound
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Dialogue
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Notes
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Ah, jail, a small slice of urine-stained heaven... with a little sodomy on the side.
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I'm bored already!
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No jail can hold me!
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Oh look, they left the door unlocked!
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Commented out with the line "Makes no sense".
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Hey, they left the door unlocked again!
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Maybe I should try to escape.
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Doing Something Cool
These lines are all present in the scripts as lDude_DidSomethingCool
. What exactly "something cool" means in this context is not known.
Sound
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Dialogue
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Well, who'da thought that would happen!
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That's definitely gonna be on my permanent record.
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Gee, that wasn't so awful.
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Miscellaneous
Sound
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Dialogue
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Notes
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Well these errands aren't gonna do themselves.
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Not used because Monday's errand list ends on a loading screen and immediately transitions into gameplay.
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Unknown
Sound
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Dialogue
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I didn't expect that.
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Did I ask for cheese?
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No, more.
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He didn't... I didn't...
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Hey, Liberace, catch!
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I'd like a hot number two to go.
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Geez, people must've been pissin' on that wall for a thousand years.
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Removed Voice Lines
DudeDialog.uc references two removed lines. These are dude_iseedeadpeople.wav, referenced in lDude_KillWithMelee
and lDude_KillWithProjectile
, and dude_itsyourluckyday.wav, referenced in lDude_Bum
. As confirmed by lead RWS designer Marphy Black, the first one was meant to be a random kill line and was said "I see dead people… lots of 'em", and the bum line was part of a scrapped conversation where a bum would ask "I really don't mean to bother you, but I just need some gas money" and then the Dude was going to respond with "Well it's your lucky day, I have some gasoline right here".